Few months ago, I had an unpleasant situation happened between me and a friend, or should I say ex-friend. I just met this person last year before going here in the States but we became close pretty quick.
So we had our argument, right? Which I can’t really remember the details anymore because it got so complicated — and after a day or two I noticed that she unfriended and unfollowed me in all social media accounts that we’re together.
I was outraged cause all along I thought she still wants to fix things up but clearly I was wrong.
I was so mad and annoyed. But at the same time, I reevaluate the situation.
Why am I so angry about the fact that she unfriended me? After all, it’s just social media. It’s just an app. And most of all, it’s just the internet.
Then it got me into thinking: Is unfriending the new divorce of any relationship nowadays?
Is social media really that huge that it bothers us whenever someone unfriend you?
That leads us to another question: Is social media the tool we used to validate our relationship with someone?
I have few personal rules when unfriending or unfollowing someone:
- I don’t unfriend someone if I know that someone too well or I’ve had a GOOD relationship with them in the past. Our only problem is we don’t talk? Uh, that’s fine with me. I can always reconnect with you anytime. I don’t unfriend you that easy.
- I only unfriend if I did not talked to you EVER or have no intention whatsoever on talking to him/her in the near future. For that reason, I might unfriend you.
- However if I know you, and your posts (for some reason) annoys me I might consider unfollowing your Facebook posts BUT I will not unfriend you. That is for sure.
But then again, it doesn’t answer the question why is it a big deal nowadays if a friend of yours unfriended you?
Going back to my situation with that ex-friend, I was hurt cause I know that I will not do it to her or to anyone ever even if we had a misunderstanding. I am a very sentimental person and I cherish friendships more than anything else. I will not do that to someone that I had a pretty much had a good friendship with.
However, I have to respect that because after all, it’s her life and if that will makes her peaceful and happy then I have to be okay with that.
On the another end of the spectrum, most people don’t realize is that Facebook is a great networking tool not only for personal purposes but also for your career and business.
That is why I’m very particular on who I add and accept. I’m also very mindful with my posts and I always check my friend list from time to time if I still know who I am friends with.
Early this year I declutter my Facebook. From 1,200+ friends I am now down with 700+. I deleted on my list their old and inactive accounts and I made all the necessary privacy setting that I should have done before.
I found this article online that says that UNFRIENDING someone is really a messy game more specifically in the corporate world. What if someone you unfriended became your co-worker one day or worse — your boss? It is possible especially if you are both on the same field. And because of one messy button you destroyed your connection big time.
“There’s a cost to unfriending. If you’re going to do it, be sure the value you get is worth it.”
But sometimes there are people that deserves unfriending. These are the people that has nasty behaviors and posts unending rants every day about simple things. They spread negativity on your timeline and they did not contribute on your growth whatsoever. Might as well unfriend them.
Side story: I blocked a professor of mine before because of his offensive posts about religion and it went to the point that it’s not healthy anymore. It’s okay to share your opinions but make sure you deliver it in a good way and not to the point that it’s the only thing you talk about and you are offending a lot of people because of your insensitive remarks. Not cool especially if you’re a professor.
After reading various articles online, they all come up with one great tip which is: WHEN IN DOUBT, JUST HIDE. Hide them on your timeline and unfollow their posts. That’s the safest thing you can do.
But to be honest it all boils down to the fact that we should be careful WHO WE ACCEPT AND ADD AS A FRIEND so that we don’t have to deal with this unwanted situations later on in our social media life.
I hope this post is very helpful. I know this is just me rambling and pointing things out but I just gotta do it for a change. Please let me know if you have experienced any unpleasant situations on your any social media before and how did you handled it? Love to read those!!